A day from now, I will be hopping on board a big bird in the sky that will take me to Washington D.C.. I’ll then hop on another with a group of people whom I’ve never met, but whose hearts are linked to mine in ways only the Lord knows.
We’ll fly to Uganda.
The weeks that the Lord has been preparing me for over the last year will have arrived, a day from now.
I am excited. I am nervous. I am afraid.
Afraid of what the culmination of this trip means in my life. Afraid I’ve missed things along the way. Afraid I won’t have a heart and arms big enough to spread the great big love of my Savior to people who are desperate for it.
And if I’m honest? Afraid I’ll be selfish and disobedient to the uncomfortable things God will ask of me.
A very dear friend of mine asked me to give Uganda a great big hug from her family, but especially from her son. It hasn’t even been a year since they adopted him from Uganda and he found his forever home in their family. It hasn’t even been a year since he was at an orphanage right where I’ll be. I plan to give Uganda a hug and much more, a piece of my heart.
How can you set out to love a people you’ve never known? To love a country you’ve never seen? How can you visit the widow and orphan in their distress (James 1:27) and go and be love when you’re wrestling out the love even here and even now?
How can you go and love the broken and ‘unlovable’ of this world, when you don’t even know how to properly love the lovable?
How to step out of the selfish skin into the uncomfortable; being the hands of Christ that actually reach out and touch the broken-ugly.
Right into the pain and the hurt.
These are challenging things. Challenging because even here and even now I am grasping for a heart like this.
And then I am reminded, there’s no need to be afraid.
Because there is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear (1 John 4:18).
I have been and continue to be perfectly loved by my Savior. There is no room for fear now. And His Spirit within me can give this fear-less love that these people are desperate for.ย That I’m desperate for and rely on, every day.
If it depended upon my flawed and selfish love, then yes–be afraid, be very afraid.
But it doesn’t.
My love will not be enough, but His certainly will be.
Am I willing? Will I be obedient to let Him show this hope-saturated love through my life? Will I move when he says to move and step into the broken-ugly? Will I pour myself out for the hungry, and satisfy the desire of the afflicted? (Isaiah 58)
I’m praying that I will and much more, for a changed heart and life in the process.
Starting here and now.
But especially, in a day from now.
*And for those who are interested, here is a basic schedule of our time in Uganda! I’ll be heading back a day later than my team though, getting back to Phoenix on the 28th ๐